This post has been a long time coming, but I am making it now. It is long over-due. The wait, however, has been worth it...I almost completely done with the website I a doing for JJ Smith. It has totally transformed and is not recognizable as anything near the original intended website.
Last year I started working for JJ trying to design him a website for his interior decorating business. Things didn't go very quickly at first. Then Hurricane Ike rolled through town and that slowed things down even more. Then you complicate it further with the slowing economy. Things nearly crawled to a complete stop.
Directions changed, however. If you want to survive sometimes you have to redirect your interests and purpose. This is exactly what JJ did. Instead of designing a website for an interior decorating business, we set out to design a website for his interview coaching business.
Initially, it was slow. It seemed the cards were stacked against us. Times were not lining up, scheduling meetings was nearly impossible, etc. You name, we had it. I actually ended up designing a full-page magazine ad for him first. He fell in love with the ad. I have to confess that I am pretty partial to it myself. I saw it in black & white and color and it looks fabulous in both versions! I love it!
I am glad to say that today, the site is almost completely finished. I still have a few things to finish up, but nothing major. I need to add another table of data, finish adding some pictures, add some valid links to articles written by JJ, and get some web tracking stuff set-up for it.
I am truly delighted with the results. If you are interested, check out JJ Smith at winnerviews.net! While he has coached primarily pageant contestants, his skills can be applied to a variety of interviews. If you're needing help nailing an interview, he is worth looking into. He's extremely personable, up front, and truly a delight to converse with. Check him out!
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Sunday, November 01, 2009
Avoiding the pain
I mentioned to someone that I would post some pictures of Margaret on my blog a while ago. I can't even remember the date, but I said I'd post them that night after I finished up all the things I needed to get done. I still have not done that. I believe it has been at least a week since then.
I guess you could say that I am just avoiding the pain. The ache of missing Margaret is still very real. That is the loneliness that is left behind when someone you love and care for leaves you. There is no way around that. The fact is that I MISS Margaret. If I sit and reflect too long, I have tears well in my eyes. The truth be told, I am going to miss all the the things that Margaret did.
I know that when the Christmas Holidays come around, I'll miss the random Christmas card. Margaret always sent me a Christmas card though I can't say that I was as good as she was about sending them. Nevertheless, every year I got a Christmas card from her even though she never (it is that rare) got one in return.
I think about the next High School Reunion (even though it is a few years off still) and I know that Margaret won't be there. It doesn't matter that she might not have attended anyway, it is the fact that I KNOW that she won't be there. Heck, I don't know that I'll even go, but I still KNOW that Margaret won't be there. I know that there will always be the questions about what happened and when it happened that will still have to be answered, reopening that ache and missing and...
Then there is the time that I log into www.ravelry.com and know that she won't post any new projects. I know she didn't post as many as she completed, but it is the fact that she just won't be posting pictures. She did such beautiful work. I truly appreciated the way that she took to it and didn't make me feel inferior because I didn't knit as fast as she did or didn't understand something as well as she did. For her, it was a shared talent.
Along those same lines, it is the fact that when I take Lance to playgroup at a particular park, I remember fondly but sadly the time that Margaret and I sat in that very park...when I taught her how to knit. How she took to it like a true natural...better than I did. That was Margaret though, if she truly wanted to know how to do something she didn't give up until she figured it out. The park is still there. The picnic table is still there. Margaret and I will not sit together and knit.
So for me, it is just avoidance of those things that remind me of the things that I won't have anymore. I guess on some levels you can even say that I am being selfish. I knew so much of Margaret. I have so much to share of her with everyone else of those years where everyone else lost contact. Of course it means that I also have so much more to miss.
For those of you who have made it this far, please know that I am trying my best to not wallow in self-pity. I am trying to do the things that Margaret would want me to do. I know that she wouldn't want me to be sad. I know that she wouldn't want me to hurt and be miserable. I even know that she wouldn't want me to dwell on it. In reality, though, my heart aches. I do feel like I have had an arm ripped from my body. That pain doesn't go away because I want it to. I have to let the process of greiving run its course.
While I do this, I am trying to focus on the fact that throughout her life she was quietly building her own legacy. What a legacy it was! She touched so many lives, so many more than many of us who knew her well realized. I think in some ways Margaret touched lives that even Margaret didn't know she was touching.
Her legacy? Service. Quiet service. She never did anything grandiose or spectacular. She simply gave through random acts of kindness. It never even had to be an actual gift or physical thing. Simply that she randomly was kind and giving. She always knew when to be where she needed to be in order to give the gift that would touch that life forever. Whether it be through the phone call, the cards, the inquiring on how you are doing and actually listening to you tell the same old story...again, or simply being there...it was through these things that Margaret built that legacy.
In her own way, Margaret built a legacy of Christ-like love, charity, and service. She wasn't perfect, but she was inspired to touch the lives of everyone around her. We should all strive to stand a little taller and walk a little straighter. We should all strive to follow in her foot-steps if only in this category. We should give of ourselves without restraint a little more each day. Those random acts of kindness touch lives. How rewarded could we all be if we too touched lives the way that Margaret did?
Anyway, I just wanted to share the things that are in my heart and why I didn't get around to posting the pictures right away. It was partly upon reflection of these pictures and the events and happenings surrounding them that made them difficult to post immediately. What we didn't know then was just how Margaret would be remembered for the rest of our own lives.
May everyone who aches from the loss of this dear friend and family member be blessed. May they be comforted by the love and hand of the Almighty God. May they find the strength to live a Christ-like life and endure to the end until their own lot in life be over. May God be with each of those who were touched by Margaret "until we meet again."
These are happy memories, so I will still share them. We had our whole world and lives ahead of us. Some of us still do...it is our responsibility to live it to the fullest...to soar on eagle's wings!
So when life gets you down, remember what the ones who have gone before you would want you to do. Remember the way that they would want you to be if they were still here. Remember the things that they did in their lives and find ways to build or improve your own legacy. Pick your chin up and remember the good times. Find the reminders that will help you remember those and over time the not so great times will fade. Over time, the frowns will fade to smiles...the tears of pain and sorrow will dry and turn to tears of joy and happiness.
As for me? I'm going to dry the tears one more time and pick up the knitting needles for a little while. I'm going to reflect by doing...
I've got other pictures. I'll post them a few at a time when I need to reflect some more.
I guess you could say that I am just avoiding the pain. The ache of missing Margaret is still very real. That is the loneliness that is left behind when someone you love and care for leaves you. There is no way around that. The fact is that I MISS Margaret. If I sit and reflect too long, I have tears well in my eyes. The truth be told, I am going to miss all the the things that Margaret did.
I know that when the Christmas Holidays come around, I'll miss the random Christmas card. Margaret always sent me a Christmas card though I can't say that I was as good as she was about sending them. Nevertheless, every year I got a Christmas card from her even though she never (it is that rare) got one in return.
I think about the next High School Reunion (even though it is a few years off still) and I know that Margaret won't be there. It doesn't matter that she might not have attended anyway, it is the fact that I KNOW that she won't be there. Heck, I don't know that I'll even go, but I still KNOW that Margaret won't be there. I know that there will always be the questions about what happened and when it happened that will still have to be answered, reopening that ache and missing and...
Then there is the time that I log into www.ravelry.com and know that she won't post any new projects. I know she didn't post as many as she completed, but it is the fact that she just won't be posting pictures. She did such beautiful work. I truly appreciated the way that she took to it and didn't make me feel inferior because I didn't knit as fast as she did or didn't understand something as well as she did. For her, it was a shared talent.
Along those same lines, it is the fact that when I take Lance to playgroup at a particular park, I remember fondly but sadly the time that Margaret and I sat in that very park...when I taught her how to knit. How she took to it like a true natural...better than I did. That was Margaret though, if she truly wanted to know how to do something she didn't give up until she figured it out. The park is still there. The picnic table is still there. Margaret and I will not sit together and knit.
So for me, it is just avoidance of those things that remind me of the things that I won't have anymore. I guess on some levels you can even say that I am being selfish. I knew so much of Margaret. I have so much to share of her with everyone else of those years where everyone else lost contact. Of course it means that I also have so much more to miss.
For those of you who have made it this far, please know that I am trying my best to not wallow in self-pity. I am trying to do the things that Margaret would want me to do. I know that she wouldn't want me to be sad. I know that she wouldn't want me to hurt and be miserable. I even know that she wouldn't want me to dwell on it. In reality, though, my heart aches. I do feel like I have had an arm ripped from my body. That pain doesn't go away because I want it to. I have to let the process of greiving run its course.
While I do this, I am trying to focus on the fact that throughout her life she was quietly building her own legacy. What a legacy it was! She touched so many lives, so many more than many of us who knew her well realized. I think in some ways Margaret touched lives that even Margaret didn't know she was touching.
Her legacy? Service. Quiet service. She never did anything grandiose or spectacular. She simply gave through random acts of kindness. It never even had to be an actual gift or physical thing. Simply that she randomly was kind and giving. She always knew when to be where she needed to be in order to give the gift that would touch that life forever. Whether it be through the phone call, the cards, the inquiring on how you are doing and actually listening to you tell the same old story...again, or simply being there...it was through these things that Margaret built that legacy.
In her own way, Margaret built a legacy of Christ-like love, charity, and service. She wasn't perfect, but she was inspired to touch the lives of everyone around her. We should all strive to stand a little taller and walk a little straighter. We should all strive to follow in her foot-steps if only in this category. We should give of ourselves without restraint a little more each day. Those random acts of kindness touch lives. How rewarded could we all be if we too touched lives the way that Margaret did?
Anyway, I just wanted to share the things that are in my heart and why I didn't get around to posting the pictures right away. It was partly upon reflection of these pictures and the events and happenings surrounding them that made them difficult to post immediately. What we didn't know then was just how Margaret would be remembered for the rest of our own lives.
May everyone who aches from the loss of this dear friend and family member be blessed. May they be comforted by the love and hand of the Almighty God. May they find the strength to live a Christ-like life and endure to the end until their own lot in life be over. May God be with each of those who were touched by Margaret "until we meet again."
These are happy memories, so I will still share them. We had our whole world and lives ahead of us. Some of us still do...it is our responsibility to live it to the fullest...to soar on eagle's wings!
Eisenhower High School Awards Night 1994
Left to right: Michael Ramirez (class of 1994), Linh Ngo (class of 1994), Jeff Cook (class of 1993), ME - Stacey Hellewell (class of 1994), Jarod Lambert (class of 1994), May Maclan (class of 1994), Amit Kamdar (class of 1994), Robinson Vu (class of 1995), Matt Lacey (class of 1995), Margaret Goins (class of 1994), and Eddie Vaughn (class of 1995)
Eisenhower High School Awards Night 1994
Margaret Goins (valedictorian) and ME - Stacey Hellewell (#37)
So when life gets you down, remember what the ones who have gone before you would want you to do. Remember the way that they would want you to be if they were still here. Remember the things that they did in their lives and find ways to build or improve your own legacy. Pick your chin up and remember the good times. Find the reminders that will help you remember those and over time the not so great times will fade. Over time, the frowns will fade to smiles...the tears of pain and sorrow will dry and turn to tears of joy and happiness.
As for me? I'm going to dry the tears one more time and pick up the knitting needles for a little while. I'm going to reflect by doing...
I've got other pictures. I'll post them a few at a time when I need to reflect some more.
Monday, October 19, 2009
Until we meet again...
This morning my longest and dearest friend passed away. She had spent several weeks in ICU in a local hospital clinging to life. It is a sobering event to watch someone who is not much older than yourself (1 month) and relatively healthy become that sick so quickly. She passed away from the complications of pneumonia. She battled this pneumonia for over 5 weeks. It was a battle she lost this morning.
My heart broke when visiting her, but remained hopeful that she would just recover. I took joy in those days that were better than others. All the while I was trying to prepare myself for the worst. None of us wanted to admit mortality during this time. I firmly believe in miracles and I won't lie, I was praying for one!
I also believe in God's Will. His hand was there to welcome her home. To free her from her pain and suffering. To free her of her mortal miseries. She is in a much better place today.
This doesn't take away the pain. There is lots of emotional pain. We were friends for so long that she was considered by my own family as an extension to the family. I called her parents "mom and dad" and she did likewise. There were so many memories, good and bad, in the past 25+ years. They are memories that I will always cherish.
While her time on this earth was too short, she was dearly loved. She quietly touched so many lives in her own little ways. She was so quiet but so loving and so giving. She inspired many many lives in the passing years. Many who may not have kept in touch with her, but who like myself, will always remember her and the way that she touched their lives.
This is not good-bye, this is so long...UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN...
My heart broke when visiting her, but remained hopeful that she would just recover. I took joy in those days that were better than others. All the while I was trying to prepare myself for the worst. None of us wanted to admit mortality during this time. I firmly believe in miracles and I won't lie, I was praying for one!
I also believe in God's Will. His hand was there to welcome her home. To free her from her pain and suffering. To free her of her mortal miseries. She is in a much better place today.
This doesn't take away the pain. There is lots of emotional pain. We were friends for so long that she was considered by my own family as an extension to the family. I called her parents "mom and dad" and she did likewise. There were so many memories, good and bad, in the past 25+ years. They are memories that I will always cherish.
While her time on this earth was too short, she was dearly loved. She quietly touched so many lives in her own little ways. She was so quiet but so loving and so giving. She inspired many many lives in the passing years. Many who may not have kept in touch with her, but who like myself, will always remember her and the way that she touched their lives.
This is not good-bye, this is so long...UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN...
Happy Birthday, Big Sis!
Today is my older sister's birthday. I hope she has a great day! Ann, I hope you know that I love you and am there celebrating in spirit.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Happy Birthday, Lance!
It is hard to believe but today Lance is 5 years old! Where did all the years go?
I baked the cake yesterday afternoon so that I could decorated it when I got home from the hospital today. I am still spending time at the hospital with Margaret. He wants a B.O.B. cake from Monsters vs Aliens. We went and bought the movie yesterday so that mommy could watch it and figure out what to do for the cake.
I decorated the cake this afternoon. It was fairly simple as BOB doesn't have much in the way of colors – blue, white, black, and red. It turned out nice in spite of the fact that it was a bit more teal than blue. Lance didn't care as it was BOB.
Lance got a Bumble Bee Transformer and a Spiderman on a Motor Bike for his birthday from us. He also started karate already. :)
We'll do the family party on Friday evening. I'm making pizza per Lance's request. We had macaroni and cheese tonight.
Tomorrow night I have the overnight shift at the hospital. I'll go down and visit her before visiting hours are over and then spend the night in the waiting room. Overnights are hard but they make her father feel better.
I baked the cake yesterday afternoon so that I could decorated it when I got home from the hospital today. I am still spending time at the hospital with Margaret. He wants a B.O.B. cake from Monsters vs Aliens. We went and bought the movie yesterday so that mommy could watch it and figure out what to do for the cake.
I decorated the cake this afternoon. It was fairly simple as BOB doesn't have much in the way of colors – blue, white, black, and red. It turned out nice in spite of the fact that it was a bit more teal than blue. Lance didn't care as it was BOB.
Lance got a Bumble Bee Transformer and a Spiderman on a Motor Bike for his birthday from us. He also started karate already. :)
We'll do the family party on Friday evening. I'm making pizza per Lance's request. We had macaroni and cheese tonight.
Tomorrow night I have the overnight shift at the hospital. I'll go down and visit her before visiting hours are over and then spend the night in the waiting room. Overnights are hard but they make her father feel better.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Hits close to home
Yesterday as I was making dinner my best friend's mother called to let me know that Margaret was in the hospital. Not only was she in the hospital, she had been moved to ICU that morning. Wow! Tuesday she posted on Facebook that she had been diagnosed with bronchitis – a cough that wouldn't go away took her into the doctor. That was Tuesday. By Friday evening she as admitted to the hospital with pneumonia. By Saturday morning she was in ICU.
I finished cooking dinner for the family and then drove down to the Memorial City Hospital to see her. I got there and she looked like death had warmed over. She looked like she felt like absolute crap. She was breathing like she had just run a marathon (and she's done this before) and she was just sitting in the bed. She was pale and sweaty looking. Pneumonia can be some wicked stuff.
I didn't stay long. I had things I needed to be doing at home. I was there maybe an hour. She was trying to carry on conversation that it was clear that it was a struggle to talk and breathe. I felt awful for her as she looked absolutely miserable.
It wouldn't stop there though. Sometime late Saturday night they intubated her – tube down her throat and hooked to a respirator. I am still completely in shock at how someone can go from bronchitis to tubed in less than a week's time. How does pneumonia get that bad so quickly?
So Margaret is having a rough go of it right now. Prayers for Margaret are greatly appreciated. We have been friends for a very long time. My earliest memory of Margaret is in Kindergarten. My earliest memory of our deep friendship is in 3rd Grade. It is hard to see the people you love suffering in anyway.
I finished cooking dinner for the family and then drove down to the Memorial City Hospital to see her. I got there and she looked like death had warmed over. She looked like she felt like absolute crap. She was breathing like she had just run a marathon (and she's done this before) and she was just sitting in the bed. She was pale and sweaty looking. Pneumonia can be some wicked stuff.
I didn't stay long. I had things I needed to be doing at home. I was there maybe an hour. She was trying to carry on conversation that it was clear that it was a struggle to talk and breathe. I felt awful for her as she looked absolutely miserable.
It wouldn't stop there though. Sometime late Saturday night they intubated her – tube down her throat and hooked to a respirator. I am still completely in shock at how someone can go from bronchitis to tubed in less than a week's time. How does pneumonia get that bad so quickly?
So Margaret is having a rough go of it right now. Prayers for Margaret are greatly appreciated. We have been friends for a very long time. My earliest memory of Margaret is in Kindergarten. My earliest memory of our deep friendship is in 3rd Grade. It is hard to see the people you love suffering in anyway.
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